How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want to fling myself into the sun
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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