So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
