How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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