I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
