i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Everyone says I win the strip club
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
