He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
