I just made out with a guy for $7.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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