the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
