alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
