I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
