Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
