I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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