fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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