Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
