there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
