its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
