Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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