She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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