Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize