I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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