a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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