I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
