grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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