for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
