im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize