It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
