all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
