just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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