oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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