i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
