If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
