not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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