I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
