True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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