my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize