After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
