Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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