Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
