apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I want her autograph on my taint
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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