Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
