Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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