Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
