I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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