Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
