would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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