I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
