it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
