I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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