not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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