Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
