My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize