I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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