yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
