Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
