I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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