nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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