it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
