do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
are you so shy because you have an std?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
