Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
